Rebecca dreads the coming of Valentine’s Day. She can’t figure out why she can’t find Mr. Right. She tries so hard to do all the rights things, but she keeps dating all the wrong men. In fact her life feels pretty lousy all round: she doesn’t like her hair, she doesn’t like her look, she doesn’t like her life. She can’t figure out why she’s so unlovable.
Ever known a Rebecca? Ever been Rebecca? If you’re having trouble attracting people in your life who love you, then look in the mirror and ask yourself, with honesty, “Am I being the kind of person I want in my life?” There’s a simple secret to this. It’s been written about in every religious and self empowerment book I’ve ever read, yet somehow we often forget:
Love yourself so you will know how to love others.
I’m not talking about egotistical, arrogant love. I’m talking about connecting with the fact, that like all those of us who share this earth, you are a walking, breathing miracle. Your existence, with all its highs and lows, is a gift. Love every moment of it, waking or sleeping, and you will start to open up to what it means to truly love others. When you see yourself for the miracle that you are, you will see this in everyone and draw others to you because of your wonderful vibration. When you can enjoy your own company, your solitude, you are more open to enjoying the company of others.
Here are three exercises to try:
1. Spend two minutes each morning as you wake up in gratitude for your possessions, your strengths and the relationships you have in your life. If you have a roof over your head, food in your fridge and clean running water, you are amongst the upper 20% of the wealthy on this planet. Bring to your attention all you have to love in your life: your health, your skills, your friends, your possessions.
2. Spend 5 minutes each evening forgiving yourself and others. Scan back over your day and look for all the things that upset you. Sit in silence and observe in honesty, your part in the drama. When you can see things clearly, forgive yourself and the other person and make a commitment to yourself to do better next time. Allow.
3. Write in a journal each night what you want to have in your life. State it as a positive affirmation as though it already exists. Great affirmations for growing and attracting love in your life are “I love myself and allow myself to learn and grow from my mistakes.” and “I am in a loving relationship with my soul mate.” Check out Elisabeth Fayt’s book “Paving It Forward” for more on this subject.