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In the influence game, like any other, there is an unspoken etiquette; a rule book.  Learn the rules and you’re seen as a peer.  Break them and you’re  wondering why no one wants to play with you.

In the on-line marketing game the mailing list is something that has a lot of unspoken rules.  It is the backbone of many businesses and asking someone to mail for you can be a lot like asking for the keys to their brand new BMW.  You better have a strong relationship and a “damn good reason”.

Interestingly a strong relationship and a “damn good reason” are sometimes present.  Yesterday I did a dedicated mailing to the Evolutionary Business Council about Jo-Ann Vacing Dibblee’s book that launches tomorrow.  I almost never do dedicated mailings to the EBC.  I did this one without Jo asking.


What makes this different than any other book I’ve seen this year or any other request to promote a teleseminar or speaking event.  I routinely get asked to do dedicated mailings for these and generally say no so as not to inundate the EBC membership with requests.

Truthfully it just felt right.  Why?

1.  Jo-Ann’s story is one of the most compelling, courageous stories I’ve heard in years.  Having been raised in severe conditions by alcoholic parents and targeted and assaulted by a murderer, Jo’s story is one of the more gripping and inspiring pieces of courage I have ever heard.  The courage to stand up and have this story exposed is one of the most inspiring acts I have ever witnessed. Not to mention it is from a woman who is seen as a business leader in our country.

2. It would feel right to our members.  As the head of E-women Canada Jo has been instrumental in more than half of our members getting stages to speak on all across Canada.  The level of give in this lady is off the charts.  I know the membership would largely want to be asked.

Want to ask someone to mail for you?  Here’s the etiquette:

1. make the request well ahead of time. People’s mailing schedules are well booked up months out.

2. make sure you have a well established pre-existing relationship.

3. make sure what you’re asking would be a fit for their readership. If it’s not of high value to the readers, expect a no.

4. make sure it’s a win-win and worth their time.

5. If they say no, don’t take it personally.  It may simply be that their mailing schedule if full.


BTW, for those who’d like to check out Jo-Ann’s book, it launches Friday.  Can’t wait to see them make this one into a movie!  Best read of the year. –