Chai Latte & her blanket

Do you blame the dog?

 

Pop quiz – You completely drop the ball on a major commitment, affecting several people and their reputation.  You:

a)    Quickly blame the nearest conflict avoider (a.k.a pin it on the dog),

b)    Blissfully go on with your day, knowing that everything happens for a reason and it’s all for everyone’s good,

c)    Pull out a Louisville slugger and pound your head for several hours,

d)    Face the pain, own up and do what you can to fix the situation.

The conversation of forgiveness is an important one. I’ll be honest. I  missed an appointment this week and I’m still having trouble putting the Louisville slugger away.

How you address your mistakes is a big part of how successful you are.  Being ineffective at moving past your mistakes can be one of the biggest barriers in business.  At the same time, self-anger can help motivate you to higher achievement.

So where’s the magic balance between self-recrimination, accepting accountability and forgiveness? Three things to consider:

  1. Only socio-paths and psychopaths experience no emotion when they impact another. So know that some self-anger and remorse is a healthy part of being human.
  2. Separate the concepts of forgiveness and accountability. First you seek their forgiveness, and then you forgive yourself.  Neither of these acts makes you any less accountable for your mistake.
  3. Finally, yes it’s cliché, but if you broke it, you fix it. Do whatever you can to address the situation whether forgiveness is present or not. That’s called integrity – being consistent with your word.

Want to give a big shout out to Shawne Duperon’s http://www.facebook.com/ProjectForgive.  This will be one of the most important discussions of 2012. What are you struggling with in forgiveness?  Would love to hear your comments below.